some people just don’t realise how offensive honesty can be.
My brain is either extremely sluggish or working on over time.
I’m a student. And yet I’m not currently studying at this present time.
I am doing.. Not much.
This is probably the relevant place to mention that I am an Art student.
Not an ‘arts’ student. An Art Student.
I study art. Not the ‘arts’.
I’m thoroughly baffled too.
Now that ^^, was the correct use of baffled.
So. I study art. I do know some things about art. I know who Brunelleschi is. I find him a lot more interesting than M C Escher. But really, you don’t care and neither do I.
Thank goodness.
I go to art school. University. And I’m pretty sure it’s not so much a case of me being interested in the subjects as it is them telling me the subjects I should be interested in.
Did everyone already know that? Am I coming in really late to this knowledge/idea? Why didn’t anyone tell me? People are so selfish with their knowledge!
The thing I’m having most trouble accepting is that we’ve been told, at art school, that, roughly, only 3% of us will make it. Make it.
Make.
It.
Make what?
It.
Does that mean fame? Only 3% of us will find fame? Or does it mean a job? Or a career? Or some kind of income? Some kind of happiness?
Is that what I should be searching for? Is that what will complete me? Is that what will validate my success as an artist? As a human being?
We’ve been told not to expect fame. That fame doesn’t come easily. That, perhaps, it’s not something that should be desired. That fame isn’t everything.
Well, quite clearly, it is. It is everything.
Do they say that to all students? Or is it just the artists? I’m struggling to understand.
Why aren’t they teaching us how to be famous then?
Why do I know that I am more interested in Brunelleschi than I am in M C Escher, but I don’t know how to achieve happiness?
Maybe, we just have to be famous within ourselves. Personal Jesus?
Oh gosh, personal Jesus has taken it to some other worldly dimension. I don’t know. It’s a song isn’t it? Marilyn Manson? Did he cover it? Oh gosh, please don’t punish me for not caring.
Refused aren’t fucking dead.
In fact, they’re going to Coachella in April. At The Drive-In are going too!
For listening to when you are alone.
when Crystal Castles played the other night I started thinking that their music was the soundtrack to a solitary existence. like it’s the key to another plane of being.
I don’t want to suppress any thoughts, but I’m going to keep the Charles Manson ideologies to a bare minimum.
How To Become Famous:
Ok, so here’s the thing: I’m not famous.
Not on the internet. Not in the imitation of the internet (I think people call that the ‘real world’ or something, really I think it’s the complete opposite). Not on the bus or the train. Not even in my own house. Not even famous to my cat.
Why is that?
There are a lot of people who are famous. Not as many as there are people who aren’t famous, but still there are a lot of people who are famous for something.
There are also a lot of people who are famous for nothing. Almost as many as there are people who are famous for something.
What are those something’s though? What are things that people aren’t famous for? How did they acquire these things? Could someone direct me to where I could find one of these things for myself?
It’s too much already. I’ve only just started asking these questions and already I’ve landed myself in a baffling position.
Baffling is a strong word. Perhaps, it’s the wrong word to use there.
You know what, I don’t even care. I’m leaving it. Wow, look at me, already rebelling against the parameters of words. Why I’m a modern day.. Modern person. An illiterate youth.
Any which way. I’m confused. Mainly about fame, and why I think I need it.
I know I don’t need it. I’d be perfectly content with living an unnoticed life.
Unnoticed.
What does that even mean?
unnoticed [ʌnˈnəʊtɪst]
adj
not perceived or observed
Surely, I’ve been perceived or observed by someone. Just the other day I bought some tartan pants and I’m pretty sure I was perceived or observed by the lady who took my money. And when I asked why I hadn’t actually received the game cartridge in my Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3DS case, I’m relatively sure that the lady at the counter perceived or observed my confusion/sympathies towards their in-capabilities.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe we’re never actually perceived or observed. By anyone.
Not until we’re famous.
Undetectable on the radar. Non-existant.
Ahh, I feel a paradox coming on. I should stop.
none of us are special. we are all just so abruptly normal.
Lisa.
Arina.
Vova.
Ilona and Ella.
Antoshka.
Nikita and Alina.
Jacob.
Roman.
